10 Types of Guys that Women Avoid Dating

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My intentions on writing this post are to give a clue to the guys that consistently fail at attracting women, or at the very best, fail to get a second date. There are many reasons why a female won’t call you back after the first date. It could range
from she just wasn’t attracted to you, to the simple fact that she took one look at you and decided she would be better off in life as full fledged lesbian.

The following 10 “types” are a compiled from a poll that I took of over 50 women from all walks of life. I realize that women can be unfair judgmental you-know-whats at times, as I too have been wrongly accused of being one (or two or three) of the following types. If you constantly fail at attracting and/or keeping a female in your life, you need to take some time to figure out just how women view you. More on that at the end of the article….

 The world is my urinal cake.

This is the guy that is constantly (and literally) pissing on everything he comes in contact with. He is the master of his domain and nothing stands between him and what he wants. He is generally narcissistic, rude to others, extremely competitive, and probably drives a Corvette. His Caesar like attitude towards the world most likely stems from severe penis envy…to the point where any man-made object over 3” is seen as a direct threat. Women tend to run from guys like this because they know at the end of the day, they will always play second fiddle to the image in his bathroom mirror.

The Al Bundy

This is the guy that seems to be stuck in his high school glory days when he scored 4 touchdowns in a single game….which is fine, but if you take into consideration his next biggest accomplishment in life was to become lead fry chef at McDonalds, probably not the best dating material. The Al Bundies in life tend to still live in the same town they went to high school in. They also tend to hang out with guys much younger than them (by about 10 years). They usually seem to watch a ton of sports (shock) and they seem to have a somewhat childish mentality. Al Bundies tend to masturbate, a lot. (don’t laugh !! Don’t you know how hard it is nowadays for a 30 year old man to pick up an 18 year old high school girl ??). Al Bundies generally can be found in any local sports bar, but for some strange reason their greatest concentration can be found on any given weeknight at your local community college.

Pretty Boys

Pretty boys make Brad Pitt look like Brad Garrett. Their hair is meticulously coiffed, eyebrows plucked, jeans way too tight. Think of pretty boys as being one snip of the scissors away from changing the “M” to an “F” on their drivers license. No matter how good looking they guy is, women tend to not want to date guys that make them feel like they are the man in the relationship. (unless they are into that sorta thing)

Pity Party Pete.

His dog just died. His boss made fun of him at work today. The Steelers lost the SuperBowl. (what?)

There is always something wrong with poor ol’ Pete and his girlfriend is the first that he runs to tell his problems to.

Most women want a MAN in their lives, not some sniveling little, touchy-feely, emotional bitch. I personally don’t know too many pretty boys in life, but I do know more than a few guys who get emotionally clingy with girls that they are dating. They are always telling their troubles and problems to their girlfriends….to the point where she becomes less of a girlfriend and more of a mommy.

 Big Balla, Shot Calla

There is a time when skinny pencil necked white boys are allowed to act like inner city gang bangers. This time is called “High School”. Anyone that is not living in the inner city and does not have an active affiliation with a local street gang, please take off the baggy pants, 25″ rims off your Honda Civic, take out your gold toof and get back into reality. There is a reason that gang bangers dress/walk/talk they way they do. It is because they have a hard life and are expressing themselves in their own unique fashion. If you are not one of them, give it a break. Nothing turns off women more than a 30 year old grown man wearing size 50 baggy pants from the local swapmeet yelling out “cuz” this and “fo’ sho’” that.

 The George Bush

Thank God/Jesus/Hare Krishnah/Buddah/Flying Spaghetti Monster that the loser is now out of office, yes?

Just like in real life, a “G.B.” is the guy that is completely and utterly clueless as to just how badly he screws things up. Crashes his car after a night of drunk driving? Most normal males would be a bit ashamed, even remorseful. Not dear ol’ Dubya. He wakes up the next morning with a huge goofy grin on his face and proceeds to play Super Mario Kart on the Wii. Life is too short to care about anything or anyone else than your own self. He just doesn’t give a shit, why should you?

Hell, why not invade the local elementary school and lay claim to their swings, sandbox and monkey bars ?? !! I’m sure the G.B.’s in life could make a good case by claiming that little 7 year old Timmy had stockpiled weapons of mass destruction in the form of water balloons and a carton of 2 week old rotten eggs.

(someone please have an attorney email me for legal advice regarding the above posting….The past 8 years have really raised some doubts in my head regarding my freedoms as an American citizen and I am not quite sure if I legally have the right to express my political opinions in the form of satire anymore…)

You wanna get hiiiiigh, maaaaaaan?

(does Howdie-Doodie got wooden balls?) 

In this day and age, you would probably be hard-pressed to find someone who hasn’t puffed on a fat doobie at least once (or twice) in their lives. I know there are many people out there who haven’t “taken the pot” and if so, good for you. You should probably go back to your elementary school teacher who told you to “Just Say No” and ask for an award or something. I am not condoning pot use, as I don’t smoke it myself, but I do know of people that do on a semi-regular basis (read: every waking breath). I can tell you from my second hand (no pun intended) experience that these pothead have a REALLY hard time at keeping a girlfriend. Most women have dated a pot head once in their lives, and that was enough. Most women see pot heads as lazy losers who …..well….. just sit around and smoke pot all day.

 Mr. complainer

This guy bitches moans and complains more than an 80 year old man with a hemorrhoid the size of a dinner plate stuck up his ass. Nothing is right for this guy and no matter what you do or say, he will always find something to complain about. The thing about complainers is that they are usually aware of their actions and try to hide them from a potential date until they really get to know them. A good way to find out of the guy you are dating is a “complainer” is to simply look for the little clues….. Some of the early warning signs of a complainer:

Road Rage when driving
2. Always seems to have a slight negative attitude
3. Is usually an “internet tough guy”. If you see a bunch
of computer geeks preparing a lynching party outside your home, run fast. Internet tough guys generally go hand-in-hand with Mr. Complainers. They usually belong to many different chat board forums and are always talking smack to other people, trying to make themselves look tougher.

Inspector Gadget

This guy has every single electronic gadget known to man. iPhone 3g this, High Definition that, his entire apartment can double for a Best Buy showroom with the amount of computers and cables strewn about. These types of guys not only piss their money away on useless electronic crap, but spend the majority of their time accumulating even more electronic crap that they don’t need.

They somehow think that they will impress a girl with how many pixels their new High Def. t.v. has, and tend to get slightly butt-hurt when the girl indifferently nods her head when he is explaining the advantages of 1080i vs. 720p resolution on a plasma t.v. screen. Generally speaking, women find all of this stuff to be completely boring and in reality, are just happy that you have a roof over your head and that the t.v. you are both about to sit down to watch a movie on is in Technicolor. It is usually a pissing contest between these types of guys to see who has the latest and greatest electronic gear.